Somedays I am virtuous, but more days I'm just bad...

Sat, 27 May 2006 07:10:22 GMT

fare thee well my bright star
i watched your taillights blaze into nothingness
but you were long gone before i ever got to you
before you blazed past this address

and now i think of having loved and having lost
but never know what it's like to never love
who can say what's better and my heart's become the cost
a mere token of a brighter jewel sent from above

fare thee well my bright star
the vanity of youth the color of your eyes
and maybe if i'd fanned the blazing fire of your day-to-day
or if i'd been older i'd been wise

too thick the heat of those long summer evenings
for a cool evening i began to yearn
but you could only feed upon the things which feed a fire
waiting to see if i would burn

fare thee well my bright star
it was a brief brilliant miracle dive
that which i looked up to and i clung to for dear life
had to burn itself up just to make itself alive

and i caught you then in your moment of glory
your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
with a memory so clear that it's as if you're still before me
my once in a lifetime star of an age

so fare thee well my bright star
last night the tongues of fire circled me around
and this strange season of pain will come to pass
when the healing hands of autumn cool me down

With Harriet's due date come and gone

Sat, 20 May 2006 04:16:19 GMT

I want to die.

My daughter is dead.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 04:41:18 GMT

On March 24th, 2006, my daughter, Harriet Emma, gave up her struggle with life. She would have been two months old on April 9th. Her official cause of death was complications relating to PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus). I feel so lost without her. It's funny how I could spent my whole life without her, but now that she's gone, I can't remember how.

She's a month old...

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 03:11:34 GMT

Harriet Emma was born on February 9th, 2006, at 9:11 PM. Born over 3 months early, she was 10 and a half inches long and 1 pound, 2 ounces.

Update 3/3/06:
She is up to one pound, five ounces, but she will need to be at LEAST six pounds before she will be brought home. Recently, Hallie was diagnosed with a condition known as PDA, which causes blood to divert away from the lungs. Apparently, PDA is common in micropreemies such as Hallie. Otherwise, Hallie is doing as well as can be expected. She isn't breathing or sucking on her own, but hopefully she will be soon!

Update 10/3/06:
One month old!

Hallie is up to one pound, ten ounces! Five ounces in two weeks is, I think, excellent progress. There isn't too much else to update on, she's gaining ounces and has made it a month.

I just thought i could update you since I haven't in such a long time.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 20:47:38 GMT

Delaney tried to make her grand escape on Monday morning. Managed to stop labor, however, I'm on strict bedrest and pre-term labor watch. Ugh, I hate it. She's GOTTA stay in there.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 07:56:45 GMT

And so to bed.

OMGZ, teh KYUTE!

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 07:25:05 GMT

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 07:18:58 GMT

I'm almost dying here.

Green apple lifesavers.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 06:50:05 GMT

I haven't done a real update in such a long time.

I guess I haven't had anything BIG to post about. I used to be such an active, eloquent blogger.

So here's the update, for those who feel like they've missed out on something:

Our Conner-boy is now eighteen months old. He's speaking in short two-to-three word sentences, and still loves teh boobage. :) He also enjoys graham crackers, running around naked, and climbing on Tucker. He's smart and so funny.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant now, I will be 21 weeks on New Years Day. The baby is still a GIRL, and we are calling her Delaney Emma. Conner already loves her, and gives my belly kisses and says "Wav Lalaney." :)

18 months old is not a big boy.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 17:45:16 GMT

But Conner thinks it is.

*cries*

Introducing Our Wonderful...Precious...Sweet Baby...

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 01:08:34 GMT

GIRL!

Baby's foot

GIRLY PARTS!

Her pretty little face.

We Have A Boys' Name!

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 06:43:28 GMT

Ryan Church.

Brother is Conner Douglas.

Girls' name is Delaney Emma. Emma is after Emily Saliers. :)

Lethal Suggestions.

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 06:34:22 GMT

On MSN messenger just now. She's upstairs and I'm down here.

Nenna says:
What do you say we watch Trudeau and do...um...other things?
Mmmmszmanda. says:
Uhhh.
Mmmmszmanda. says:
Interesting combination
Nenna says:
Yes
Mmmmszmanda. says:
Do you even know who Trudeau is?
Nenna says:
Pierre Trudeau... I have an idea.
Mmmmszmanda. says:
I was gonna Wiki you
Mmmmszmanda. says:
But...lol
Mmmmszmanda. says:
Isn't exactly sex TV
Nenna says:
Wikipedia is the shit
Mmmmszmanda. says:
I ♥ wiki

Nenna says:
Yep... and it teaches me things

Nenna says:
*nodnod*

Stamped (Fall Pics)

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 01:30:16 GMT

(Is this not the scariest damn happy face you've ever seen?)

Happy, but playing shy.

OMG the ears!

We've Got Girl's Name!

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 22:34:46 GMT

We're sharing it with you guys, but not family yet (they don't want to hear the names until the baby is born), so...the name we have chosen for our baby if it's a girl is:

Delaney Emma.

We're still working on a boys' name. Our top contender is Michael right now.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 01:17:27 GMT

"Love is a BATTLEFIELD! Hey!"

Then the tape died. Haha.

I really hope I don't sound stupid

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 02:07:56 GMT

I'm seven weeks pregnant and it's my 2nd pregnancy. I have a son who will be 16 months old on Oct. 6 and is breastfeeding still. I can't seem to find anything in any of my pregnancy literature that says anything about breastfeeding throughout pregnancy, so I wanted to clarify, it's perfectly fine to continue nursing throughout pregnancy, correct?

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 00:28:12 GMT

Dear People My Mommy Talks On The Computer With:

As you may know, I, Conner Douglas, am no longer this little tiny baby:

I'm 15 whole months old!

As you may also know, my parents wanted to have a new baby brother or sister for me to play with. (I don't know why, though...I'm happy with Tucker, see?)

Anyways, I, Conner Douglas, will be a BIG BROTHER anyway on or around MAY 16, 2006!!

Root for a sister!

Love,
Conner
bha634lhblehdi68568gfshmrpnt

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 19:19:53 GMT

We BOTH forgot...lol!

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 18:35:21 GMT

The 27th was my 7th anniversary and it was just business as usual until right around three when I looked at the calendar and noticed the date...lol...we both forgot and felt so bad about it. First time in seven years...lol.

I'd just like to give a big hello to everyone on LiveJournal

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 03:19:12 GMT

For no apparent reason whatsoever. :-)

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 04:45:57 GMT

He is now taking expressed milk in a bottle. He had his last good nurse just after midnight yesterday (Thursday). *sigh* Well, if he's happy I'm happy, I guess? (My partner feeds him now--I feel replaced, is that normal?) (user icon to reminisce)

Egg Boy!

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 00:40:18 GMT

easter2
Originally uploaded by kallywally.

This is said picture (as spoken of in a previous post) of Conner at Easter (It really wasn't so pretty outside, see the other post!)

Flickr

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 01:17:38 GMT

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

jayjaybean did something wonderful for me.

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 19:49:59 GMT

Since there's still a whole whackload of snow on the ground, I couldn't take Easter pictures outside like I wanted to--Jennifer (jayjaybean for those who didn't know) got me to take the picture and then fixed it so that it looks like Conner is outside. I like it alot! :-)